Date : Monday, June 29, 2009
Time : 8:14 PM
Title : Let's talk about confidence&self-esteem.

Honestly,
If it ever crossed your mind to tell me:
'Believe in yourself', 'Have confidence in what you do', etc.
Please, learn to act appropriately.
How can you, ever, expect me to start learning to have them,
when all you do is put me down over and over again.
I want to start trying to be bold, be brave, be confident.
&show the world who I am and what I'm made of.
But with you around always saying negative things about me,
when can I ever reach that goal?
So don't tell me shit when you are the one always bringing me down.
If you say it to my face, I'll believe it.
So don't come telling me that you didn't mean it.
Cos then, for what fuck did you say in the first place?
If it has no purpose, then don't.
Cos if you actually take the effort to say it,
why shouldn't I believe it?
Then don't come telling me things like:
'Honestly, you're not..', 'I was just joking/disturbing you..', etc. after that either.
Cos you'll only irritate me more.
Just be straightforward, yes means yes. No means no.
Don't go around twisting your own stories in the end,
cos it'll only make you look like a fool to me.
And harder for me to trust you, and take your words at the surface anymore.
I can take it if you meant well, I can change.
And I'd appreciate it,
cos you're helping me improve as a person, as my friend.
But don't say things that you don't mean, cos I may believe it.
And you'll come saying that they don't mean a thing,
expecting me to change my belief like a snap of the fingers.
What do you take me for then?
No emotions, no feelings?
Then what about you?

I've already tried to tahan.
Brushed it off sometimes, when you tell me things like:
'Honestly..' or 'I was just kidding..' etc.
But I don't wanna be left on the fence anymore,
thinking whether to believe or not.
Just tell me things I NEED to know.

I don't wish to mention names here.
If you think/feel that I'm talking about you,
come and ask me yourself.
I'll be straightforward and tell you,
I promise.





Anyways! I just got back from Clarke Quay!
Started my day by meeting Sylvest under my block.
Trained to Cityhall and went to Marina Square to buy some stuffs.
Met Salihin later and went to Funan, Sylvest needed a haircut.
Peninsular after to check out some guitars.
Then down to Clarke Quay to meet Aaron for his tattoo appointment.
Slacked while he did his tattoo.
Salihin left at 6pm, for his business thingy.
Mac with the rest after Aaron's done.
Then home with Sylvest.
Walked around White Sands for abit, talk cock.
Then bused home.

I'm gonna study BZE Chapter1&2 later.
Then Chapter3 tmr with Sylvest :D
Woohoo!

Labels: Savannah.