Date : Friday, July 10, 2009
Time : 11:41 PM
Title : You'll always be, my baby.

"You can erase someone from your mind.
But erasing someone from your heart is another story."

Suddenly.
You're all I think about,
all I care about,
all I dream about,
all I wanna know about,
&the reason to why I think of the should be's or might have been's.

Suddenly.
I miss you,
I miss your touch,
the way you hold my hands,
the way you drape your arm over my shoulder,
the way you piggyback me around your house.
I miss your kisses,
the way we lie in bed playing PSP,
the way you flip over just to give me a tiny peck before bed,
the way you hugged me to sleep,
the way i rested my head on your chest.
I miss your singing, although totally out of pitch.
I miss you doing the silliest things just to make me laugh.
The way you pout,
the way you act angry, just so that I will kiss you to make it all better.
The way you hug me when I'm making maggie mee for the both of us.
The way you made me sit beside you when playing with Reira,
just cos you know I was scared of big dogs.
The way you know just which of your shirt I like wearing to sleep,
the way you know which is my favourite boxer shorts.
I miss the way we would go for Japanese when we're hungry and broke.
I miss the way we would walk the long stretch of road, smoking.
The way we would talk nonsense but feel so comfortable,
the way we would watch DVDs in your parents room,
I miss the way you give me your signature silly smile &then kiss me.
The way you touch my hair,
the way we would both patiently wait for your mom to come home with food,
the way we would sit around the house doing almost nothing.
I miss the way we would catch a movie and dinner after,
I miss the way we would spend monthsaries all lovey dovey.
The way you called in the mornings and nights,
the way you texted me all the time,
the way we would both always be looking forward to seeing each other everyday.

Suddenly.
I miss holding your hand,
I miss giving you hugs.
I miss making you laugh,
I even miss hearing you laugh.
I miss your voice,
I miss the touch of your hair.
I miss the smell of your skin,
I miss the Gucci you sprayed.
I miss wearing your clothes,
I miss using your laptop.
I miss kissing your lips,
I miss brushing your cheeks.
I miss jumping on your bed,
I miss cooking maggie in your kitchen.
I miss waking up next to you,
I miss brushing teeth together.
I miss so much that it'd take forever to write it all down.

Suddenly.
I have so much to say,
if only I had the chance.
If only it would mean anything now.
If only, but.

Suddenly.
I realise,
that everything is gone.
Everything was long over.
Everything we had,
everything I had.
Everything that we built up together from scratch,
someone ruined it all. Gone.
Nothing's ever coming back.
This, I know.
But that someone who took away what we had, really.
Was it you?
Or me?

I don't know. Honestly, I don't.
Maybe t'was something I said,
or something I never did.
Or was I always in the way?
Was I never good enough?
Or was I always nothing that you wanted?

I guess I never really moved on,
cos I never thought I would have to, without you.
I didn't see it coming, so I was never prepared.
You didn't make me feel like I should.
Or maybe I was just too blind to see.
Cos maybe all I could see then, was you.

I am happy,
cos I know that there was a point in time when,
you did want me,
you did love me.
You did put me first place no matter what,
you did do so much for me,
you did think of me all the time.
I am happy that I was before, a very important part of your life.

So thank you,
for all the beautiful memories.
But maybe I'll take longer to remove you totally.

Wishing you all the very best, sincerely.
In whatever you may do, or commit to, in future.
Wishing you love, and happiness.
And the very most your life has to offer.

I'll be happy, I promise.

Labels: I just stop and wonder if you ever feel the way that I feel.